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HOUSE OF CONTRADICTION
5 WAYS
These are 5 ways to build your confidence for any occasions.
The Handshake
Whether man or woman, your handshake should be firm. That doesn’t mean you have to have a bone-crunching grip. Strong enough to let the other person know you’re really there. Have you ever had someone shake your hand by just placing their hand in yours, not squeezing at all? If the person is nervous, it’s like holding a clammy, five-fingered dishrag. Not a lot of fun. Your handshake should be firm, and you should look the other person briefly in the eye at the same time. It’s amazing how many people fail to do these things when you consider how disconcerting it can be to the other person.
The Clothes
Shoes are important, especially when women are involved. A man can pull up in a beautiful car, wearing a designer suit with the perfect tie, only to notice that the woman is checking out his shoes. Clothing is a difficult issue. Over dressing or under dressing is dangerous. Since most social occasions are casual (how often do you get invited to a black tie affair?) you can easily afford to update your wardrobe. Buying some high-quality casual clothing is easy to do, and even the more expensive choices are probably not going to break your budget. It’s best to have a couple of complete outfits dry-cleaned and set aside so that you can be ready in a flash. It’s especially good for those last minute invitations!
Eye Contact
Don’t look away! When you meet
someone for the first time, you’re supposed to look at them! That
doesn’t mean you should stare and hold the other’s gaze non-stop. But when
someone’s trying to make a point, ask or answer a question, you should be
looking at each other. If you aren’t, you’re sending a signal that you are
either too shy to make conversation or completely uninterested. Too many people,
out of shyness, avert their eyes and send the wrong signal.
The Conversation
Often, when advice on dating is
given, it’s recommended that you ask questions of the other person. But this
can feel like an interrogation. You want to ask people open-ended questions.
Don’t just ask them what they do for a living (yawn). Asking questions that
can be answered in a single word often get that sort of reply. You want to ask
questions that invite the other person to give their opinion. Send a signal that
you are interested in what they think. Current events and popular culture are
probably the best subjects. You could find yourself laughing about reality TV
shows, or the latest political gaff. You’ll break the ice more easily if you
ask for opinions and interpretation, rather than facts.
Smile
If you start off with a smile,
everything else will go so much more smoothly. The other person may be slightly
nervous…perhaps more nervous than you are. Remember that this first meeting is
not all about you! The other person brings their own anxieties, their own
worries of acceptance into the mix as well. A smile says that you’re relaxed,
and happy to meet someone.
Making a killer first impression
isn’t impossible. If you practice when opportunities present themselves, when
there is nothing at stake, you will be much more likely to excel when first
impressions really matter…like a job interview, or a blind date.