HOUSE OF CONTRADICTION
These are 5 ways to build your confidence for any occasions.
Whether man or woman, your handshake should be firm. That doesnít mean you have to have a bone-crunching grip. Strong enough to let the other person know youíre really there. Have you ever had someone shake your hand by just placing their hand in yours, not squeezing at all? If the person is nervous, itís like holding a clammy, five-fingered dishrag. Not a lot of fun. Your handshake should be firm, and you should look the other person briefly in the eye at the same time. Itís amazing how many people fail to do these things when you consider how disconcerting it can be to the other person.
Shoes are important, especially when women are involved. A man can pull up in a beautiful car, wearing a designer suit with the perfect tie, only to notice that the woman is checking out his shoes. Clothing is a difficult issue. Over dressing or under dressing is dangerous. Since most social occasions are casual (how often do you get invited to a black tie affair?) you can easily afford to update your wardrobe. Buying some high-quality casual clothing is easy to do, and even the more expensive choices are probably not going to break your budget. Itís best to have a couple of complete outfits dry-cleaned and set aside so that you can be ready in a flash. Itís especially good for those last minute invitations!
Donít look away! When you meet
someone for the first time, youíre supposed to look at them! That
doesnít mean you should stare and hold the otherís gaze non-stop. But when
someoneís trying to make a point, ask or answer a question, you should be
looking at each other. If you arenít, youíre sending a signal that you are
either too shy to make conversation or completely uninterested. Too many people,
out of shyness, avert their eyes and send the wrong signal.
Often, when advice on dating is
given, itís recommended that you ask questions of the other person. But this
can feel like an interrogation. You want to ask people open-ended questions.
Donít just ask them what they do for a living (yawn). Asking questions that
can be answered in a single word often get that sort of reply. You want to ask
questions that invite the other person to give their opinion. Send a signal that
you are interested in what they think. Current events and popular culture are
probably the best subjects. You could find yourself laughing about reality TV
shows, or the latest political gaff. Youíll break the ice more easily if you
ask for opinions and interpretation, rather than facts.
If you start off with a smile,
everything else will go so much more smoothly. The other person may be slightly
nervousÖperhaps more nervous than you are. Remember that this first meeting is
not all about you! The other person brings their own anxieties, their own
worries of acceptance into the mix as well. A smile says that youíre relaxed,
and happy to meet someone.
Making a killer first impression
isnít impossible. If you practice when opportunities present themselves, when
there is nothing at stake, you will be much more likely to excel when first
impressions really matterÖlike a job interview, or a blind date.